The Cabinet

The IKEA As-Is discount section is a treasure trove of returned, discontinued, and ex-showroom items. And that’s where I discover a cabinet with loose hinges and no legs. I think I can fix those. So I buy the cabinet.

A few months later I decide that the cabinet isn’t doing it for me anymore and it’s time to move on. I place an ad online and wait. And wait. And wait… I keep listing it, hopeful that someone will take it off my hands.

Finally, I get an email asking if it’s still available. I reply “Yes”. We set a meet.

She shows up for the cabinet, I bring it out, and she likes it. Huzzah!

And then I notice something sticking out of her right pant leg. I point and ask her, “What is that?”

She reaches down and pulls out a pair of underwear. Her face turns red. Her eyes shut. I laugh. She laughs.

I carry the cabinet to her car and she leaves.

Later, she emails me and says, “I’ve called three people already to tell them. I said if I see that on a Netflix show and I find out you’re a writer, I’m asking for a cut for inspiration.”

Netflix, if you’re reading this, hit me up.